The past two years I haven’t set any goals at the end of the year because life was already turned upside down in so many ways, and also because I didn’t want to add any extra pressures on an already highly demanding existence. But this year I feel more than ever the need to set goals again. Not in a rigid sense of “I need to achieve this OR ELSE I’m a failure” – but in terms of increasing life’s purpose, clarity, and direction.
Also I’ve been inspired by The Confessions of a Terrified Creative and her journal prompts for the end of the year, so I decided to write it and put this out there. So here we go…
An accomplishment I’m proud of:
Bigger size canvas paintings. It’s something I’ve always been afraid of, but this year I conquered that fear. Also learned a few new tools and skills related to my designer and art director profession, so I am proud of myself for that.
A mistake or failure, and what I learned from it:
Oh so many haha 😅 But the thing is that I’m really happy I made so many mistakes – not only this year, but in my life so far – because if it wasn’t for all those mistakes I wouldn’t know myself and what I want.
Also I view mistakes as a testimony that at least I tried something. Even if it didn’t turn out in a favorable way, or it lead to a dead end, I treat everything as an adventure that I had the courage to embark in, and something to learn from.
I think the biggest mistake I made was listening to others’ voices more than my own and lost my focus. I saw this quote in a video, so it resonated deeply with me:
“Confidence is the promises you keep to yourself”
Of course, this doesn’t mean not being mindful of others and their needs, but I think that many times it’s easier to break a promise we made to ourselves especially when these promises don’t involve other people as well. So one of the first promises I made to myself for the new year was to limit all the distractions and things setup to drain me of energy and derail me from my goals and vision – because this is another mistake I’ve done a LOT in the past and no longer allowing it.
A challenge I overcame:
Learning creative coding and Figma. I’ve built a lot of resistance against coding because I dreaded computer science my whole life, but seeing that I can actually “paint” with code gave me a sense of appreciation towards coding – even though I still hate it with a passion 😅 and have no intention of being anywhere near it.
A new skill I learned:
How to do visuals in Max For Live (Ableton Live) and animations in Procreate for iPad. Non career related: I started learning guitar and a variety of synths. I also learned many new recipes, and how to grow tomatoes 😄
A seed I planted, and want to grow:
Getting my license in Visual Arts, with focus on baroque and medieval art (*cue up the dungeon synth playlist* haha). And yes, I know that I don’t need a diploma in the arts, and this is basically THE most useless degree ever *blah blah blah* (especially with AI at our doorstep) BUT….. this would be me fulfilling my childhood dream of going to Art School and give me that peace of mind, or peace of heart I should say. It’s not for the piece of paper, it’s because this is what I always wanted to study.
Also I want to explore more with instruments and music, without any rules or pressures on it. No fitting in a genre or doing something specific, just lots of experiments and enjoyment of playing music.
An experience I’m grateful for:
Going for a variety of job interviews. Even though some of them lead to no concrete offer, I’m thankful for the opportunities, because not only that I learned more about what I do or do not want in terms of a career, but also what I can work on in terms of market demands.
I also enjoyed the creative challenges given, and also seeing different perspectives, from different cultures. Being used to working mostly directly with clients and less with intermediaries, the point of view of an agency or employer was a useful and enriching experience. Even though I decided that IT or advertising are no longer aligning with who I am at the moment, I chose to remain dedicated to a more soulful, slower paced field, like art, music, and book publishing.
My theme this year was:
Going back to my roots, and finding myself again (especially the pieces I lost along the way), finding permanence.
Want to create:
A career and life that doesn’t feel like a hamster wheel leading nowhere fast.
Want to start:
Reading more paper books, like I used to do. Because digital articles or e-books are nice, but sometimes nothing can replace the sensory feeling of an actual physical book, like the smell of the paper or touch of the page’s texture. It makes the experience feel “real”.
I want to try more plein air, even though I get extreme anxiety painting outside and I get more stuck in my head instead of concentrating on what I’m creating.
I also want to learn more about parenting, and about how to grow more vegetables and herbs.
Want to leave behind:
The fear of being judged for the things I love. Holding myself back because of the fear that I come off as angry, when in reality I’m just very passionate (and I do not wish to change that about me). Apologizing for what makes me unique and different. Trying to fit in a niche – which clearly has never worked for me. Everything that doesn’t give me a sense of purpose and a clear direction. Uninspiring environments.
Want to experience:
Living in a city with old charming architecture. Buy a home with a fireplace (it’s a long dream of mine). Take a steam train ride (like Mocănița) on Christmas. Pet a reindeer. Try oil painting. Find an art mentor like the old masters. Visit a fantasy literature bookstore (if that even exists). Visit Eftelig. Wine tasting weekend at a historical vineyard in Romania.
This year I’ll prioritize:
- Family, close friends, and wellbeing/healthy living
- Art, music, and storytelling
- Reconnecting with myself
- Helping more artists
Thank you for reading ❤️ Wish you a Happy New Year with lots of dreams come true. If you enjoyed your stay please consider signing up to the newsletter. No spam, and your data will never be sold.
